


Puberty Sucks

by jfcmartin



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Prompt Fic, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7727815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jfcmartin/pseuds/jfcmartin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil were very close friends when they were kids. As they grew older, they don't speak anymore, and Dan claims that it's because Phil grew up more attractive than him. </p><p>Sent as a prompt to me, you can send me one too at <a href="http://rephil.tumblr.com/">rephil</a>!</p><p>Beta Reader: <a href="http://ftlester.tumblr.com/">ftlester</a>! Thank thank!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's never ogre

**Author's Note:**

> I am back with another fic!! Isn't this great!! I feel like most of my pics are about the past... but will I stop writing them? Nah. Anyway, you can send me a prompt at [my tumblr](http://rephil.tumblr.com/)... Hope you like it!!

Dan could say he wasn’t lucky with puberty. He was among one of those people who looked fairly decent as a kid but grew up to appear like they’ve been plowed over by a truck. The only person that probably found him attractive was his mum, and that barely even counted. 

But you know who’s lucky? Phil Lester. Dan has seen him grow up, since they were seven, in fact, and watched him progressively get more aesthetically pleasing to the eye. They are neighbors and classmates for almost eight years now. But as friends? It probably stopped around six. And a half. 

Dan blamed it on the puberty. If people didn’t get too engrossed with him every time, or if people actually considered appreciating him for his personality instead of his looks, maybe Phil wouldn’t abandon him for his much more popular, elite friends. He’s been there for him the entire time even when he was still an anime loving dork, dammit, he must give credit when credit is due.

But that’s how the world works, right? You only matter when you look like a supermodel. You have to fit in this construct provided by society to be accepted. It wasn’t Dan’s fault that his genetics didn’t do any good for him.

Before, not a single day passed without them talking together for at least two hours. They’d complain about school work while watching anime, have a sleepover and play videogames until 3 AM on Friday, and goof around in front of a camera pretending they were in a TV show. There were better times back then, back when they didn’t have to care what other people think.

Now, they barely had a minute to say hello to each other in the hallways. They were seatmates in Algebra II but it was as if there was an ocean between them. The last message they’ve ever sent each other was about a school requirement they had to submit a month ago. 

Even their mums, who managed to stay friends, noticed what was going on. Sometimes, his mum would ask him how was Phil going and he’d have nothing to say. She’d suggest that they should catch up sometime, and Dan responds with a nervous chuckle and switch the subject immediately. 

Which is why Dan wanted to throw himself onto the wall. Out of all the possible days he could use to try out Louise’s herbal masks, he chose today, the most inconvenient day of all. Because for the first time in three years, Phil actually set foot into their house. It felt like he was out of place, like a cartoon character went to the wrong TV show. 

He wore a navy blue parka, white jeans and white trainers. He probably got fashion tips from his friends, who sported assorted kinds of clothing everyday as if they were in a runway. But Dan admits that Phil was in every sense attractive, despite not coming to terms with what he actually identified as. Can’t he just appreciate beauty without having to label it?

Compared to himself, Phil was literally a living god. Since he did not expect  _ any  _ visitors to come in his house at 8 PM, he had dressed down to a faded Adventure Time shirt and boxer shorts that were stained with orange juice his brother ‘accidentally’ spilled on his lap. Plus the green muck plastered all over his face while his hair was tied up with a rubber band to keep it from getting into the mask.

“Dan?” Phil asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he descended the flight of stairs.  _ Yes, the ogre has emerged from the swamp, thanks for noticing. _

“Hey, Phil! What are you doing here?” he said, stopping two steps before the landing and placing one hand on his hip and the other on the railing. He noticed his mother sat on the dining room table signing some papers. 

Phil tried to bite back a giggle jabbed his thumb towards his mum’s direction. “I just asked Mrs. Howell to sign my papers.”

Dan nodded. “What for?” 

“Reference numbers. I’m applying for a job and I need it in case they have to check if I’m a drug dealer,” he smiled, biting his tongue playfully. 

Dan stared at this, almost long enough for it to get obvious, before diverting back his eyes to meet Phil’s. “Oh, yeah that’s good!” he said defensively, almost forgetting what Phil just said.

Phil just nodded. He pointed to his face and asked, “Erm, what’s…” he didn’t know what to say.

“Homemade face mask. Apparently it tightens pores and reduces pimples,” he replied, shrugging nonchalantly as if he was just doing this for fun. As if he didn’t really need it to salvage his face.

“Oh, what is it called? I’m gonna have to try that.” He seemed genuinely interested, his eyes lighting up like a kid in a candy store.

Dan waved his hand and scoffed. “You won’t be needing this.” Seeing Phil’s confused expression, he added, “I mean, your face is… okay. You don’t need to make it prettier than it is. Not that I’m saying you’re pretty, but you are! But--”

“Here’s the papers, Phil!” his mother interrupted, handing a green envelope to Phil and he accepted it courteously. She turned to Dan and said, “Glad you’re finally done. Can you take out the trash for me, sweetie? Thank you.” 

“Sure,” Dan spluttered. How is he supposed to take it out with what he looks like right now?   
  
“I can come with you,” Phil offered. “I’m heading out anyway.” 

“Okay.” He muttered, walking to the kitchen to grab the garbage bags. He struggled with pulling it out of the bin. He managed to wiggle it out and tied it up before going back outside to Phil, who was waiting for him by the front door. 

“Let’s go?” Dan nodded, grabbing his coat and swinging it on his shoulders. Together they ventured out in the cold, Dan’s legs shaking as soon as they stepped out the front porch. The door closed behind them and they walked to the street, shoulders occasionally bumping. None of them said a word or even looked at each other.

Phil stood out waiting as Dan lifted the lid of the black garbage can and chucked the plastic in, silently returning it to avoid making a sound. He turned to catch Phil watching him with a troubled expression.

“Hey Dan? Can I ask you something?” he asked, a bit too formal in Dan’s opinion. It was just him after all. 

He stepped closer to him and crossed his arms. “Yeah, what about?”

Phil fumbled with his gloves and seemed to have difficulty deciding where to put his folder. He ended up tucking it under his arm and sighed. “What happened to us?”

Dan was probably sure what he meant, but asked, “What do you mean?” to make sure they were on the same page. They haven’t been for a very long time.

“I mean, why don’t we talk as much as we do anymore?” There it is. Dan wondered if he’s been thinking about it for a while or he just thought about it when he saw him. Dan didn’t want to ask him since he might appear too attached.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess we were too busy with our lives?” It was a shitty excuse.

Phil laughed bitterly. “It’s not like we’re businessmen, Dan. And we literally live next to each other.” 

“Well, I don’t know!” Dan replied defensively, raising his voice. “I’m not the one who went off and had better friends.” He closed his mouth immediately. He didn’t intend to say that, not upfront at least. It was what he really felt.

“ _ What?”  _ he asked, looking hurt. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Dan sighed and rubbed his arm instinctively. “It means you started drifting away, Phil.” His voice cracked. He wasn’t used to being yelled at, not even being talked to with a slightly louder voice. And above all that, his reasons sounded pathetic when he said it out loud.

“If anyone was drifting away, it was you, Dan.” He flinched, and Phil saw it. In a softer voice, Phil continued, “You’d always snap at me when I try to talk to you so I thought you needed some space. And it kept going like that until we stopped talking completely.”

Dan remembered those times where Phil would come up to him and try to talk to him and he’d be mad, but it was mostly because Dan thinks Phil’s mind was somewhere else. Whenever Dan tried to re-engage  _ Phil  _ into the conversation, he’d catch him staring somewhere else and generally ignoring what he just said. It was definitely not  _ his  _ fault.

“Well if you actually listened to what I’m saying! Or maybe told me if I was too boring for you then I’d stop,” he spat angrily, digging his nails into his arm to ground himself. All the anger and hatred he had for Phil have finally let out, a bit harsher than necessary.

“What are you talking about?” Phil raised his eyebrows worriedly.

Dan laughed bitterly. “Don’t pretend you’re the innocent one here, Phil. And  _ don’t  _ pretend as if you didn’t love the attention you were getting from all those people at school.”

“You think I’m that shallow? That I only want attention. Fine, maybe I just wanted some other friends. But that didn’t mean you weren’t my best friend anymore.”

Dan recalled that one day in school where people get to pair up and dress up similar to each other. Naturally, you’d ask your best friend to do it with you, wouldn’t you? But no, Phil chose Caspar the second they announced it. It was a stupid thing to get mad about, but it led to more disappointing instances where Phil chose his other friends before him.

“Well that was because I know you hated dressing up!” Phil countered. “And besides, Caspar asked me to do it with him right away and I couldn’t say no.”

“Yes you can!” Dan shouted. “You didn’t seem to mind saying no to me when I asked you to come with me to that convention I always talked about.” He scoffed. “But I guess you weren’t listening to me that time either.”

“Because I already had plans with Hazel and Jack!” 

“But I talked about it for weeks.” Dan felt a lump in his throat and he was unable to speak any further. Was he really that unimportant to Phil? Or maybe he was just too clingy, expecting too much from him. It was definitely the latter.

Phil slumped defeatedly and said, “Oh. Well, I I’m sorry I didn’t hear.”

“A bit too late for that, isn’t it?” Dan pursed his lips. They stood in silence again, Phil staring at his feet and Dan shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He released a puff of air that came out as fog in the cold winter night. He and Phil used to pretend they were smoking when doing this, making up topics about politics and businesses like real adults.

Phil slowly lifted his head and met Dan’s eyes carefully. Dan tried to keep his gaze but dropped it immediately, the button on Phil’s coat becoming more interesting. 

He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it and closed it again. He did this for a couple of times before finally saying, “For what it’s worth, I miss you, Dan.”

“I miss you too,” he mumbled, almost instinctively. All the frustrations and anger he’s had with Phil’s sudden change have exploded in this argument, when he finally let it all out, he felt tired. He’s just sad now. He looked up at the sky and saw tiny specks fall down. One landed on Phil’s pristine coat and was soon followed by more. It snowed for the first time this season. 

He looked up as well, following a particular snowflake as it descended in front of him and landed on Dan’s slippers. “Remember when you told me that if you wanted to have a snow day, you had to run around the dining room twelve times.” Phil smiled wistfully.

“Yeah. And when you did you broke your nose and had to stay at home for a whole week,” Dan giggled. He remembered hearing the news and coming with his mother to the A&E. It was a hilarious sight, he will never forget the look of terror in Phil’s face staring at his bloody hands.

“But it did snow that day, so I did London a favor.” He crossed his arms in triumph. 

Dan grinned, pointing above them. “Good job, Phil. What did you do this time?” 

Phil leaned forward and whispered, “Between you and me, my shirt is inside out. That’s why I’m wearing my coat the entire time. I didn’t want your mum to think I’m a complete loser.”

“You spork!” Dan chortled, covering his mouth with his hand. He couldn’t hide the fact that he was beyond ecstatic that they’re finally in good terms again. Phil was laughing too, his tongue poking out between his teeth.

“Dan!” he heard, coming from their house. It was his mother. “Come back inside, it’s cold!”

“I’ll be there in a minute!” he turned to Phil and raised his eyebrows. “Guess I should be going. My mask might freeze on my face.” He almost forgot that he had the mask on in the first place, but after recognizing the unsettling feeling that something was touching his face this entire time, he finally remembered.

“You wouldn’t want to turn to an ogre.” He scrunched his nose.

He rolled his eyes. “By the time this treatment is over, I’m finally gonna be the princess I’ve always dreamed to be.”

“It’s never ogre, Dan.” Phil replied, trying to keep a straight face.

Dan touched his face and realized it was starting to harden. He bit his lip and said, “Shut up.”

His comment made Phil giggle again, it turned Dan fuzzy inside. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?” Dan nodded eagerly. He turned to walk back to his house but stopped himself and asked, “Can you promise me something, Dan.”

“Yeah?”

Phil took in a deep breath and said, “Promise we’d stick together no matter what?”

Dan smirked and held out his pointing finger. When they were younger, they both came to the conclusion that pinky fingers were weak and shouldn’t be considered the promising finger, but instead the pointing finger. That meant the promise was supposed to be held on to stronger.

Phil hooked his own pointing finger onto his as Dan said, “I pointy promise.”


	2. Butter my toast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil are giving their friendship a shot, but how much have they changed since the last time they've been friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BOI this took an entire year to update didn't it? I mean not like anyone was actually waiting for this... but I'm sorry if you were. I actually have three chapters lined up but I just want to make sure that they're all gonna line up to how I want it to end ~~also I completely abandoned the story lmao~~ but I'm on spring break so I hope I can get a few chapters in!
> 
> I'm not exactly sure how British™ school works, so if you're from there please don't kill me my story line depends on the American™ school system so if it's completely off I'm so sorry. Just pretend they're in this ambiguous school. They could be in Mars for all you know.
> 
> All mistakes are mine (this was like... half beta-d) and this is a work of fiction!!! So I don't expect this to reflect real life! Obviously!
> 
> I should really stop talking

Dan usually had an alarm set up every morning to wake him up on a school day. There were three of them: 7:30 AM, 7:40 AM, and 7:50 AM. He woke up on the second alarm to grudge about not sleeping earlier then finally got up on the third. But this time, it wasn’t mechanical beeping that woke him up, but a chirpy voice.

“Good morning, Dan!” 

Cold blood rushed through his veins when he recognized voice. “What the-- _Phil_?” He sat up and covered his naked torso with the duvet. “How did you get in here?”

Phil rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and answered, “I thought we should go to school together so I stopped by. And your mum insisted that I wake you up.”

Dan yawned and rubbed his eyes slowly. When he finally adjusted to the morning sunlight peeking through the blinds, he noticed that Phil was already fully dressed and ready for school. He wore a blue plaid shirt buttoned all the way up, and skinny jeans. 

Dan cursed silently, covering his face with his hands and groaned, “Okay, well turn away first.”

“Why?” 

He couldn’t find a more eloquent way to say it, so he just blurted, “I’m not exactly wearing anything right now,” and his face heated up. Phil’s eyebrows shot up at realization and quickly turned to face the window, cupping his hands on both sides of his eyes.

Dan swung out of the bed, covering himself with a shirt discarded on the floor. He rushed to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. Dan stared at the mirror, cringing at how curly his hair was. Phil saw him asleep. Was his mouth opened the whole time? Dan probably looked gross, his face is usually pretty oily when he wakes up, his entire body is probably in some really awkward position, and the biggest issue of all, his  _ hair. _

Dan jumped into the shower immediately without turning it on first. He cursed as the cold water sprayed him. His morning showers were usually a minute or less since he wakes up too late to have enough time. Dan dried himself off and put some deodorant. He took out his hair straightener from the medicine cabinet, plugged it in and adjusted the settings so it warmed up while he brushed his teeth.

Dan was horrible working under pressure. He burned his hand twice trying to work faster than usual, knowing that Phil was outside waiting for him. When Dan finally felt satisfied with the results, he turned to look for clothes to put on, only he forgot to take any with him. He mentally slapped himself, adjusted the towel wrapped on his waist, and stepped outside. 

Phil was perched on the edge of his bed, his head snapping up when he opened the door. Once he saw Dan, he averted his eyes immediately, trying to find something else interesting and ended up staring at his feet. 

Dan grimaced as he made his way to his closet, blindly reaching for anything he could possibly wear. All his clothes were dark anyway; he’d look the same no matter what he chose. 

“What time do you even wake up?” Dan asked to break the silence. He instructed Phil to face the window again as as he pulled on his pants.

“Around six,” Phil replied.

“Seriously? That’s when I go to bed.” Dan felt proud of himself when he heard Phil laugh.

“I sleep early because it reduces breakouts,” Phil said.

“That’s no way to refer to my children,” Dan countered, earning another laugh from him. It sounds like twelve angels singing at once, and Dan was willing to make as much jokes as possible to hear Phil laugh again.

Dan realized that he picked out the smallest shirt he owned. His arms got stuck while he tried to wear it. Dan struggled to pull it past his shoulders and groaned exasperatedly. He made a mental note to throw it out as soon as possible.

“Hey Phil?” he said, voice muffled by his shirt and arms. 

“Yeah?”   


“Need some help here,” Dan mumbled. Phil turned around and giggled upon seeing his situation. He walked towards Dan and tried to pull his shirt down. Phil accidentally scraped his nails on Dan’s skin, causing him to yelp. Phil managed to ease the shirt down after three drastic attempts.

Dan exhaled, “Jesus, it’s like giving birth.”

He proceeded to grab his bag, shoving his notebooks and pens scattered from around the room. Together, him and Phil left the room and went down stairs. Dan saw his brother Adrian eating cereal in the dining room. Their mother drives Adrian to school since it’s a bit further than the high school, which was only a couple of blocks down.

Dan made his way to the front door but was stopped in his tracks when Phil asked, “Aren’t you gonna eat breakfast?”

“My mum’s over there,” Dan pointed at the dining room where she was watering the plants. “I don’t need a second one.” 

Phil stuck his tongue out. “Yeah, but breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

“No shit. But I get queasy when I eat in the morning.”

“Just eat something,” Phil insisted, taking his backpack from the sofa.

Dan huffed as he trudged to the kitchen and grabbed an apple from the fridge. He bit on it distastefully and said, “There, you happy?” Phil gave him a thumbs up.

After saying goodbye to his family, Dan followed Phil outside and began their trip. Phil insisted that they walk faster since they were running late, but Dan wasn’t very troubled. He’s been later than this before. It sometimes motivated him to actually run for once, and he’d be there on time. 

Out of nowhere, Phil asked, “Hey, don’t we have the same lunch?” Dan nodded, busy trying to get rid of the apple skin stuck between his teeth. “Where do you go?”

“ I go out to the pizza place a few blocks down. Why?” Dan decided to give up and chucked his half-eaten apple at the nearest trash can. 

“I was wondering if you’d like to sit with me and my friends later?”

Dan contemplated for a moment. He’s happy that Phil thought of introducing him to his friends, but Dan wasn’t really good with new people. He couldn’t think of what to say because he wasn’t sure what kind of person they were. Do they like memes? Are they a sports kind of person? Dan usually waited for people to start a conversation with him because he feared starting one himself. 

Dan panicked, thinking of a way to delay it for a bit.

“Sure, but in one condition.” Phil raised his eyebrows and he continued, “You sit with me and  _ my  _ friends first.” 

Phil grimaced. “I promised Hazel I’d help her out with homework today. Can I go tomorrow?” Dan agreed, he had to warn PJ and Chris about a newcomer after all. 

When they approached the school block, they parted ways. Phil saw one of his friends by the ice cream parlor in front of school so he crossed the street while Dan went inside the building. Dan couldn’t fathom how Phil managed to be that cheerful in this time of day, usually Dan would walk away when people tried to talk to him before 10 AM.

But of course, he had the audacity to question why he had no friends. 

* * *

“So, are you guys pals again? PJ questioned while pointing his fork at him.

“I guess,” Dan managed to say with a mouthful of pepperoni pizza.

“Thank god. I don’t have to keep up with you whining about him anymore.” PJ said, leaning back on his seat.

Dan laughed humorlessly. “I’m happy for you, PJ.” Dan took another huge bite off his pizza and chewed silently, watching as his friends twirl their forks into their pastas. 

Dan met PJ and Chris at film club. He was under the impression that the club was about  _ watching movies.  _ Little did he know that the club was about  _ making movies.  _ It was too late for Dan to drop out so he decided to just stick around it. Both of them made the club tolerable for Dan and actually convinced him to make a few videos of his own. 

“Oh yeah, Phil also asked me if I wanted to sit with him and his friends,” Dan mumbled casually.

They sat in silence for a moment before PJ asked, “Well, what are you doing here?”

Dan took the red pepper shaker and sprinkled some into his pizza. “Well, I told him that he should sit here first.”

“Negotiations, I like it!” Chris chided before taking a mouthful of pasta with a meatball.

“He’s busy today so he’s gonna come tomorrow,” Dan added. 

“Good. I needed to prepare myself so I don’t humiliate you.” PJ winked. 

“Thanks, I guess.”

“But honestly, I don’t trust that Phil guy.” Chris uttered solemnly, staring at his plate of pasta, as if he had a long backstory waiting to be told.

Dan tilted his head to the side and smirked, teasingly running his foot on Chris’ leg. “Why? Scared he’d sweep me off my feet and leave both your asses alone?”

Chris shook his leg to get rid of Dan’s foot rolled his eyes, “Quite the opposite, actually. Can’t wait for you to be gone.” PJ nearly choked on his food. “Anyway, it’s just that someone told me he’s kind of a dick.”

PJ finished chewing his food and turned his head to Chris and asked, “Why?”

“According to a reliable source,” Chris raised a finger with an air of mystery, “Phil turned down a fine lady because apparently she's too ugly for him.”

Dan dropped his pizza to his plate. “That’s not true. Phil wouldn’t say that.”

“He did! And it makes it even worse that he turned down  _ Cat Valdez _ . She could butter my toast of you know what I mean.” Chris wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

“We’re eating, Chris, shut up,” PJ protested, suddenly disinterested with the meatball he was bringing to his mouth.

“Who exactly is this ‘reliable resource’?” Dan asked, suddenly intrigued with this topic. He knew Cat from art class; they talked from time to time. They weren’t close enough to talk about these things though. Their conversations certainly weren’t about  _ boys. _

Chris leaned forward and furrowed his eyebrows. “Jack. But you did not hear it from me.”   
He wasn’t sure who Jack was, but he didn’t sound like a trustworthy source. “How are you sure “Jack” is telling the truth? Maybe that's not what Phil really said. ” 

“Yeah, well that's not  _ exactly  _ what Phil said. But he could’ve just said that! And besides, Jack’s his friend, ” Chris said with a shrug. “He knows Phil more that anyone else.”

“Well I was his friend first!” Dan snapped, dropping his fist on the table with a thud, alarming the table beside them. 

PJ gave Dan a concerning look. It made Dan realize his body was tense the entire time. He slumped back on his seat and nibbled feebly on his pizza. He felt like Chris was telling a story about a completely different person. Dan knew Phil; he would probably turn someone down too nicely that they wouldn't realize it. And even so, Phil wasn't the kind of person who talked about people behind their backs. 

“Maybe he’s changed Dan, it’s been a long time.” PJ stated softly. Dan thought about it for a while as he finished the pizza by biting off the toppings before eating the crust. As much as he hated to admit it, PJ was right. Maybe Dan did knew Phil, but that was in past tense. 

* * *

For Algebra II, Mr. Smith instructed them to pair up and answer the worksheet he’s handing out. Dan was relieved he’s in good terms with Phil now since Louise, his usual partner, is absent today. He took the seat beside Phil’s and reached for two worksheets, handing the other to Phil and offering to split the questions between the two of them.

Their lesson is about conic sections. Dan started off hating the entire lesson, just as any other topic they’ve discussed in any class, but once he got the hang of plugging numbers into the formula, it became more tolerable. Phil had a slight difficulty with solving his share, but they managed to finish and recheck it all in ten minutes. 

Dan took this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and try to overcome his art block. He stared at the blank page for quite a while and turned his head to look at Phil, who was busy playing animal crossing in his phone. Dan found inspiration and went to work. 

A few minutes into the drawing, he heard, “Psst, hey Dan. What are you drawing?” He felt the tip of a pencil poking his arm, which came from Phil.

“A cactus,” he mumbled, clicking his mechanical pencil to get more lead out. 

He saw Phil grin from the corner of his eye. “I love cacti!” 

“Yeah,” Dan lowered his head so Phil couldn’t see him smiling. “I remember.” 

Phil went through a phase where everything he ever owned had cacti in it. His bags, his pajamas, even his food, had something to do with a cactus. At the time, it was very easy to buy him a gift in special occasions since Dan knew exactly what Phil wanted. For Christmas on fourth grade, he got Phil a vial with a tiny cactus inside. Everytime he visited his room, Dan saw it by the nightstand. He wondered if Phil still has it now.

There were five minutes left in class so the teacher began giving them the answers to the exercise. People quietly packed their bags while half listening to what he was saying. Dan took out his earbuds and untangled them; it was usually a chore that took him ten minutes to finish. Once the bell rang, everyone darted out of their chairs and left.

Before Dan could plug in both earbuds into his ears, Phil said, “See you after school?”

Dan nodded. He was about to say, “See you!” but it got caught in his throat when he realized Phil was on his way out, fistbumping a friend waiting for him by the front door. Dan tried to shrug it off. They weren’t in the same classes the next period anyway, why should Phil wait for him? Dan went on to his next class, anxiety filling his gut. 

* * *

Dan tried to text Phil to find out where they were going to meet up, but Phil wasn’t replying. Dan huffed and decided to wait under the huge tree by the main entrance. It wasn’t snowing outside, but all the snow that piled up from yesterday sat on the street. Whenever the wind blew, it felt like sitting in a fridge.

The crowd of students thinned the longer Dan stayed there. Dan watched friends huddle together as they walked down the street, or laughing boisterously as they entered a vehicle. He considered leaving, maybe Phil forgot about Dan and went home on his own.  Phil wasn’t even his best friend after all.

Dan realized he never actually had a  _ solid  _ best friend in his whole life. He used to think it was Phil, but two years of getting ignored proved Dan wrong. He wanted a friend that had  _ him  _ as their first priority, a friend that knew him so well that they could create their own inside jokes. Or maybe a friend that answered their damn phone.

It was Dan’s little fantasy that seemed more impossible as the years go by. He was terrible with communication and always had mood swings for no goddamn reason. Dan was probably a high maintenance friend, and people didn’t want that burden in their lives. Chris and PJ were his closest friends, but that’s just because they had the same lunch period. Film club rarely even had meetings. Perhaps they’d drift apart if they didn’t have any classes in common the next year.

Dan heard footsteps behind him, and when he turned to look, it was Phil slinging his backpack behind him and buttoning up his peacoat. “Hey, Dan! Sorry I took so long. I had to finish my test in Literature.” He took his phone out and cringed. “And sorry I didn’t see your texts.”

Dan shrugged. “It’s okay. Shall we go?”

Phil extended his arm before them and giggled, “Lead the way, sir.” Dan began walking, with Phil trailing behind him and texting on his phone. Dan wanted to take it away from him. Why did Phil bother walking with Dan if he’s just gonna text other people?

Thankfully, Phil shoved it back in his pocket and catched up with Dan, crossing his arms and beaming at him. “How was your day?” 

Dan cringed.  _ The small talk.  _ He thought they were way past this. “It’s good. Just as uneventful as any other day I guess.” Phil leaped over a clump of snow blocking the sidewalk. “Oh, and I told PJ and Chris that you’d be sitting with us tomorrow. They’re excited to meet you.”

It was a half lie. They were excited to meet him, sure, but it shouldn’t taken positively. It was almost like they were excited to examine at a bunch of cells from under a microscope for the first time. But of course, Dan wasn’t going to say that to Phil. 

Dan wanted to see how Phil handled unexpected conversations with other people, since he’d be doing it with Phil’s friends the next day.  Dan envied Phil for finding it easy to start a conversation. Sometimes he would with random people he met at the store and they’d be instant friends. 

_ How does he do it? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Anyone who kudos and comments will get a free virtual pizza!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are gladly appreciated :D


End file.
